dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
