Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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