There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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