And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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