Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Randomize
