he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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