can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
