thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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