I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
