yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
