Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
