That's when you crack a 10am beer
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
