I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
