meet me or not, i'm out of control
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
