Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
