if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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