what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
