i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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