just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
