bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
