so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
