I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
