i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
