She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
