Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
