It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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