Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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