I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
