Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
