there was a trapeze. enough said
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
