I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
