I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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