Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
