CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
