After last night, I could never be a politician.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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