Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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