Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
