my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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