And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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