My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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