There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
