Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
