we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
