He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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