I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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