she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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