There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
