Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
