Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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