Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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